Bashert
by Iapetus
Summary: There is no greater peace than finally being with the one you love and realizing that they love you back. And while physical touch is nice, it's the emotion behind it that means so much more. 393


Bashert

A Saiyuki fan fiction by Iapetus

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or the song "Bashert (Meant to Be)," who belong to Kazuya Minekura and Ari Gold respectively (among other people).

I like to think of this story as a "stolen moment," if you will. Not specifically at any point in the series, although I personally believe that it is later on in the journey. I also like to think of this story as innocent and passionate – and not focus on the sexual feeling that physical touch can express. There can be a more powerful feeling – an emotional one – there as well.

This is also not a songfic, although there are some lyrics before and after the story. When I first wrote this story, I did not have this song in mind. However, it fits it so well that I think the song lyrics help highlight the point I'm trying to get across.

That said, I hope you enjoy the story.

* * *

_Baby it was meant to be  
__For you and me  
__For us the stars align  
__There's nowhere else I'd rather be  
__Than tenderly  
__Holding you close by  
__And baby I'll look after you  
__Take care of you  
__Cause time is on our side  
__No one could make me believe  
__But with you I feel God_

_Bashert__ means you were meant to be  
__You were made for me  
__I know this deep inside_

_-Bashert (Meant to Be) by Ari Gold_

-

It was almost like a dream.

It was something that he never thought would happen. One of his greatest wishes and one of his deepest desires. He wanted it more than anything.

Had he wanted to satisfy the needs of his body, he could have easily found a willing partner. Many called him desirable, but he didn't understand what they were talking about. How was it that his antisocial behavior did the exact opposite ofits intention?

He snorted. Not even the sutra around his neck or the chakra on his forehead would keep some of his suitors away. Or maybe it was that forbidden aspect that made him so sought-after. Would people desire him so much if he were "normal?"

Maybe not. He'd never know. But this…

He wanted to satisfy a greater want than his physical one.

His body felt unbearably hot, looking up into the golden eyes of the earth spirit above him. The expression returned to him was one that he had not expected. It was a look that made his breath hitch.

No one had _ever_ looked at him like that before. Not those trying to seduce him, not those trying to weasel themselves into his favor. Goku had never tried to do any of that. When he sought his master's favor, it was for completely different reasons.

It was a look of need.

The earth spirit's touches were surprisingly soft despite the tough calluses on his fingers. They felt light on his collarbone even through the leather of his top.

A shiver of pleasure traveled through his arms as he fought the desire to close his eyes. Sanzo didn't want to take his gaze off of Goku – not after wanting this for so long. The brunette was the only one who could really see him as something other than a priest. And when Goku would call out to him, it was said as his name, and not his title. To Goku, he was simply Sanzo, and he didn't have to be anything more.

A gentle pressure could be felt on his throat, patiently searching for where his pulse primarily resided. Leaning in closer, the earth spirit's hot breath danced around his touch. Sanzo found himself taking hold of his charge's waist. It was so gratifying to feel the earth spirit struggle for breath as his muscles tightened and relax beneath his fingers and even through the fabric of the shirt in the way. Maybe in a few moments he would find a way to slip his hands beneath, but for now he was content. Although there was one thing that could be improved…

Moaning as he did so, Sanzo tightened his grip on the brunette's waist as he brought their bodies closer together. The same moment he tilted his head back, inviting Goku to go farther without actually saying anything. When warm lips kissed his skin, he found his eyes finally sliding shut. It was then that he heard it.

Something between spoken language and emotion, it was more intuition than an actual sense. He felt it with his mind – something that Goku was trying to express in the best way he knew how. It was so familiar to him – as if he heard it before. The sensation was strange, and Sanzo felt as though he were invading Goku's mind somehow, but it was then that he realized what it was.

Goku was calling out to him again.

Unlike before they first met, there was no desperate note in the "voice." There was no overwhelming sadness that came of not knowing another soul in the world. In fact, it was the exact opposite of that.

Joy, love and peace – all composing a harmony that Sanzo could not name. The only thing he could compare it to was what he was feeling himself. Two startlingly different souls were somehow perfectly in synch with each other. Their souls were both saying the same thing.

Sanzo wondered if Goku could "hear" his own response as well. A nip on his neck spiked the priest's interest, and as the bites grew more numerous on his skin, he felt that sense of urgency again. Urgency for acceptance, which mildly surprised Sanzo.

Did the earth spirit still doubt the acceptance of his master? His eyes narrowed slightly at the thought. It wasn't good to be unconfident, and he would make sure that Goku was aware of what he was feeling, since it seemed that Goku could not hear it himself.

This knowledge gave him a somewhat heady feeling as he let his hands start to roam. _He_ was the one who really needed to demonstrate his emotion, and he wanted to see the reaction on his charge's face when he did. No longer content with the cloth keeping his hands off of the smaller figure's body, he tugged at where the shirt had been tucked in. The lips on his neck fastened themselves securely to it – the bites becoming less frequent. It became harder for Sanzo to breathe, and it felt like Goku was sucking the air out of him before it could get to his lungs. Maybe his air was more desirable because he was breathing it in first. Again Sanzo didn't know why – Goku always complained about his smoking habits.

But right now that didn't matter, not when the both of them were not making any protests. The priest could not stop making noise, but it was far from a complaint. It encouraged them both on, and Sanzo smirked to himself as he felt his charge shiver. He was exploring it has he had never done before, and while he had felt Goku's chest before, it had been under much different circumstances. And those times before he hadn't been squirming or moaning…

The lips on his neck traveled up to his jaw, and Sanzo almost felt like protesting, but the moment their mouths met his complaints died away. He loved the feeling of his neck being tended to, but Goku quickly showed him how much this could be enjoyed as well. Neither of them had experience with this, and maybe it was that aspect that made it so much more endearing.

It was a whole different world he was in, with Goku above him. In this world there was only the two of them, and Sanzo did not care about anyone else. Nothing could break this air around them. Not even if they were interrupted, he doubted that their world would ever be completely shattered, now that they had found it.

What he had wanted was something like this. And as one of his hands found their way into Goku's hair to pull him closer, he realized that he did not want anything else.

This was enough for him.

-

_Bashert__ means you were meant to be  
__You were made for me  
__I know this deep inside

* * *

_

Written on the way to, as well as from, Ohayocon 2005. Much thanks to D-chan for betaing it for me.

Comments and criticisms appreciated.

-Iapetus


End file.
